Am I a man?


  Yes/no
I can keep my head when all about me
Are losing theirs and blaming it on me
Yes
I can trust myself when all men doubt me,
But make allowance for their doubting too
Yes
I can wait and not be tired by waiting No
Being lied about,  I don’t deal in lies Yes
Being hated, I don’t give way to hating Yes
I don’t look too good, nor talk too wise Yes
I can dream—and not make dreams my master Yes
I can think—and not make thoughts my aim Yes
I can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same
Yes
I can bear to hear the truth I’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools
No
I can watch the things I gave my life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools
Yes
I can make one heap of all my winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at my beginnings
And never breathe a word about my loss
Yes
I can force my heart and nerve and sinew
To serve my turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in me
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”
No
I can talk with crowds and keep my virtue Yes
I can walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch Yes
Neither foes nor loving friends can hurt me No
All men count with me, but none too much Yes
I can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run
No
I am 72% Man  

It’s possible Kipling meant this to be a binary choice. In which case I am clearly not a man, nor is the world and everything that’s in it mine.

Here’s a handy Manliness calculator for you.

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