One F-ing Squirrel


In a hotel room in Frankfurt, constrained by my failure to learn the local language, I watch the only English TV channel. It is CNN and it is the global sports report.

It transpires that the Australian bowler Jason Gillespie has smashed the world record total for a Test Match night watchman, making 201* against the very weak team Bangladesh. If that last sentence means nothing to you, imagine what it must have been like for the CNN presenter condemned to read it aloud to an uncomprehending global audience with no idea what he was saying. Full marks to him for effort but you could see his brow furrow as he read “night watchman” and wondered if it was a typo or some monstrous joke being played on him by the teleprompt operator.

The report also included an item on the Arsenal football match, which featured a lone pitch invasion by an American rodent. The reporter claimed the crowd sang “there’s only one squirrel”. Those who are familar with the tune of that improvised song will realise there are a couple of syllables missing from the line. Syllables not suitable for a family channel one assumes.

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1 Response to “One F-ing Squirrel”


  1. 1 dominicsayers April 21, 2006 at 16:06

    The tune being Guantanamera for those who don’t watch English football matches very often.


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